Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Thoughts On Being A Clueless Man
I had an issue pop up today with a female customer. It is something that has baffled men throughout the ages. It is a minefield only the bravest among us dares to enter. What is this terrifying dilemma of which I speak?
"Is the woman I am talking to pregnant, or has she just put on some weight since I saw her last?"
Today and in almost every other situation, I refrained from congratulating a female customer on a pregnancy for fear of insulting her. What happens if I ask when she is expecting, and it turns out she has just been downing a lot Twinkies and Ding Dongs?
I have never made this mistake, but I came very close one time. We were at a birthday party for a friend and noticed another guest at the party appeared pregnant. I told my friend "I did not know she was pregnant", and she replied: "she isn't.....she has just put on a lot of weight". I was SO happy I had not said something to this woman who I was positive was pregnant.
As it stands now, a woman has to be pretty close to having contractions before I even broach the subject. I feel bad about this because I want to express happiness for expectant mothers. But that desire pales in comparison to having a hefty woman taking a snow shovel and beating me upside the head.