Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Thoughts On Being A Clueless Man


I had an issue pop up today with a female customer. It is something that has baffled men throughout the ages. It is a minefield only the bravest among us dares to enter. What is this terrifying dilemma of which I speak?

"Is the woman I am talking to pregnant, or has she just put on some weight since I saw her last?"

Today and in almost every other situation, I refrained from congratulating a female customer on a pregnancy for fear of insulting her. What happens if I ask when she is expecting, and it turns out she has just been downing a lot Twinkies and Ding Dongs?

I have never made this mistake, but I came very close one time. We were at a birthday party for a friend and noticed another guest at the party appeared pregnant. I told my friend "I did not know she was pregnant", and she replied: "she isn't.....she has just put on a lot of weight". I was SO happy I had not said something to this woman who I was positive was pregnant.

As it stands now, a woman has to be pretty close to having contractions before I even broach the subject. I feel bad about this because I want to express happiness for expectant mothers. But that desire pales in comparison to having a hefty woman taking a snow shovel and beating me upside the head.

4 comments:

Jimmy said...

faced this many of times myself. That's why I stick to talking about the weather!

Laura said...

it's no better for women. we're never comfortable asking the question either. it would just be way too sad if we were wrong...

Jmom said...

Don't worry about it son, most men are a bit clueless anyway! lol

Janet said...

I remember in eigth grade a kid asked me if I was pregnant.... I got so mad I never talked to him again...... That includes all of high school..... In Ninth grade his friend had to pay for his mistake. His friend had a crush on me and sent him to ask me out for him. I turned him down because I could not stand the person he sent to do the job.... LOL, always best to stay quiet on that subject. Nice to know.... I still can't believe it, Eigth grade! What kind of girl did he take me for. I didn't even know what sex was!