Friday, October 24, 2008

The Ballad Of The Red Sweatpants


Earlier this week I was in saw a rather large woman walking around Super Target
in pink pajamas (with cute little lambs and clouds) and huge, fuzzy bunny slippers. This got me to thinking about how casual is TOO casual.

As those who know me can attest, I am a believer in dressing as casual as the situation allows. But I have my limits, and jammies in a store is past mine. Of course, I once had much lower standards........

When I was in college, my fraternity "little sis" gave me a pair of red sweatpants. I loved those sweatpants and wore them everywhere. Let women worry about whether they can wear white shoes after labor day: my red sweats were 24 hours a day, 365 days a year comfort. In winter, I wore them long for warmth; In summer, I pulled them up over me knees and wore them as shorts. As time went on, they got worn to the point where Tracy pleaded with me to get rid of them. She got more insistent after we got married and continued to deteriorate.

When you get married, all men hang on to one thing that they will not budge on. That one friend, habit or routine that says "I will marry you, but I am still my own man". I took my stand over a beloved pair of red sweatpants. A nasty, stained, hole ridden, thread-bare, stretched out abomination. Tracy just had to live with it. Until.....

I would love to say my beloved red sweatpants died an honorable death, but I would be lying. I awoke one morning to find that our dog had eaten the crotch of my sweatpants. I don't mean chewed.......I mean EATEN. There was a 1 foot circular portion of the crotch totally gone. To me, it was murder. But Tracy and our dog Bear agreed, it was a mercy killing.

7 comments:

Mom said...

Love it!! I remember those,they were horrid!! You also had some real tacky tee shirts with the sleeves cut off to finish off your "outfit".

Tracy said...

This is all true. Bear did do a mercy killing and she was well rewarded. Of course Dan forgot to mention that he used to sew up the holes with dental floss because he said it was stronger than thread and would last longer. Nor did he mention the threadbare plaid shirt with the cut off sleeves that went with the sweatpants that even after ripping halfway around the back, he insisted I sew so he could wear it more.

Laura said...

I remember those sweatpants. It's a miracle that you ever convinced a woman to marry you. Bless that dog! She deserves a special place in heaven for her act of service to all of us. :)

Dan said...

Nice to get feedback from all you fashion experts. Glad to know there are no old pictures of any of you in clothes, hairdoos or glasses that now horrify you. :-)

We actually found a picture of the sweatpants, but it was before they decayed. The sweatshirt I was wearing in the picture however was every bit as disgusting as those red sweatpants became.

Teri said...

Somehow I can invision all of this.. LOL I can also see you using the dental floss...LMAO

Jeremy Lunnen said...

At the risk of getting in trouble with the boss...Laura really shouldn't be commenting on other people's sweat pant attachment. That's all I'm gonna say about that....

Dan said...

oooooh....SNAP! Thanks Jeremy. About time we got some more testosterone around here.