Shopping For The Family

It is Sunday and I am trying to relax after enduring my own private hell: a solo run to Walmart. Tracy has a cold, so I volunteered to do the weekly Walmart run. I think I did pretty well: I only had to call on the cellphone twice with questions. The over/under was 4 confused phone calls.

Don't get me wrong.....I have been to Walmart many, many times. But with a few exceptions, I really don't pay attention to what Tracy actually pulls off the shelf. Usually I just walk around like a claustrophobic zombie.

The last time I did the solo run was when Tracy was out of town. I asked Whitney to make a list, and headed out. I was only 3 blocks away when the trouble began.

At a red light, I looked at the list. The first line said "Tracy Shampoo". No name....no brand....just "Tracy Shampoo". I see that bottle of shampoo every time I shower, but I had no chance of finding the exact right one.The trouble continued with the next line: hair color. I have shopped enough to know there is more to this than picking the box that says "red". I look down the list and see several other potential minefields. So I did what any intelligent male would do: I did a U Turn and went back home.

This has prompted one of my brilliant business ideas: A store for husbands who's wives are sick or out of town. Not to be sexist....this could also apply to anyone befuddled by too many choices and want to simplify their lives.

In my store, there will be only one type of each item, and it will be clearly marked. There will be just kind of shampoo, and it will come in a bottle that says "Shampoo" in big letters. No brands or variations allowed. Imagine the ease of shopping when all you have to know is that you need "soap", "cheese" or "motor oil".

These items would only come in one size, so there is no need to figure out if you can save money by buying your peanut butter in a 5 gallon drum (sorry Laura). The best part is that the store would not be arranged like a normal store; the items would be arranged alphabetically. There would be no need to ask where the soda is, because you would know it is right by the soap.

Obviously, this is not for everyone. But for those who hate shopping and want fewer decisions to make, simple shopping is on the way!